How to Communicate Like a Senior Leader (The Habits That Make You Sound More Junior Than You Are)

"You're just not ready yet."

If you've had some version of that feedback, you'll know how maddening it is. You're delivering, your team rates you, and you're fairly sure you could do the next role. But when you ask what specifically you need to do differently, the answer goes fuzzy. Bring a bit more gravitas. Keep doing what you're doing.

Being capable and being perceived as senior are two different things. And one of the biggest influences on how senior you seem is something hardly anyone will point out to you directly: the way you communicate in meetings, updates and presentations.

Prefer to listen? Pam and I talk this through in episode 174 of Career & Leadership Real Talk.

Why does how you communicate affect how senior you seem?

Communicating like a senior leader means getting to your point, contributing when you've got something to add, speaking for the whole business as well as your own area, and shaping what you say around who you're talking to. The four habits that undermine it are saying too much, saying too little, communicating through too narrow a lens, and communicating the same way with everyone. When capable people are told they're "not ready yet", one of those four is very often part of the picture.

People form a view of your level based on what they experience of you, and much of that is how you talk and write. It's a big part of your reputation (more on that in how to build a personal brand that gets you promoted). If those habits come across as more junior than your role, the perception follows, even when the work itself is excellent.

The tricky part is that it's rarely named. People will tell you a report was useful or a meeting went well. Very few will say "you're in a senior role, but you're coming across as quite junior". So it turns up as vague feedback, missed opportunities and a nagging sense that your message isn't landing.

When I'm unpicking this with coaching clients, these four patterns come up again and again, and I see them across whole leadership teams as well as in individuals. Once people see them, they tend to say they can't unsee them. Until then, they're really hard to spot in yourself.

Are you over-explaining instead of getting to the point?

This is the habit of saying too much, and it's the most common one. It looks like over-explaining, over-justifying, or thinking out loud before you've gathered your thoughts.

I remember a leader who was new into their role describing how members of their team would lay out all the information and leave them to sift through it. What decision am I being asked to make? What's your recommendation? When you're the one serving up everything, it can feel thorough. To someone senior with a pile of decisions to make, it makes their life harder rather than easier.

What they want from you is evidence that you've done the thinking: that you've weighed up the options and you're prepared to make a recommendation. That's the judgement they're looking for at a senior level, and it's what makes your contribution useful when they've got a decision to make.

Back in the day I used to say to my own team, "Just give me bullet points. I don't need chapter and verse." I know plenty of senior leaders who've said the same thing, and plenty of people who've been on the receiving end of it.

There's a lot of advice around at the moment about storytelling, and much of it is good advice. We do connect through stories. But a story only works if people can see why it's relevant, and it doesn't have to be long. A good one can be as simple as: here's where we are, here's why that's a problem, here's where I think we need to get to, here's how we'll know we've got there, and here's why I'd go this way over the other options. You can tell all of that in surprisingly few words.

There's also a knock-on effect. If you're in the habit of taking more than your share of air time, people get used to it. They start to switch off as soon as you open your mouth, even on the days you're cutting straight to the point. So something sharp and useful can get missed because of the reputation that's built up around it.

Are you staying too quiet in senior meetings?

This is the habit of saying too little. It can create exactly the same perception, for different reasons.

I hear this a lot from clients who've been told to speak up more or bring more to the table. Again, the feedback is usually vague. When we dig into it, the quietness often comes from wanting to protect their reputation. If I don't say the wrong thing, nobody can judge me for it. The trouble is that what you save on that side, you lose on the other. You don't get seen as someone with ideas, or as someone who changes the direction of a conversation.

Sometimes there are good reasons to stay quiet. The meeting might be badly run, with one or two voices filling every available minute. (If you've never sat in a meeting losing the will to live because a couple of people won't stop talking, lucky you.) That's a different problem to solve.

I have to watch this one myself. If I don't contribute, it's often because I think enough has already been said and there's no point talking for the sake of it. That reasoning makes perfect sense in my head. Nobody else can see it, though, and from the outside silence can read as disengaged or uninterested.

If you recognise that you hold back when you'd like to contribute, it can help to challenge yourself directly. Another option is to have a word with whoever runs the meeting. Tell them you're working on contributing more, and give them permission to bring you in and ask what you think. It takes a bit of bravery, especially if being put on the spot isn't your favourite thing. Which is kind of the point.

Are you communicating like a functional leader rather than a business leader?

This is the habit of communicating through too narrow a lens, and it's come up a lot in my recent work with leadership teams. It's when people only contribute on things that sit squarely in their own area: their function and their team.

CEOs and MDs regularly tell me they want their leadership team leading the whole business as well as their own departments. That only happens if people share their perspectives across the table. What they're working on, where they depend on each other, and what's a priority for them that might not be for someone else.

When your communication stays focused on your own patch, you come across as someone who looks down to their team rather than across to peers or out to the wider business. You can be a brilliant leader of your function, with a team that adores you, and still not be perceived as strategic.

Often the difference is in how you frame the same issue. Say a project is short of resource. The functional version sounds like "My team needs more resource to deliver this." The business-wide version is closer to "If this is still a priority for the business, we need to decide what we're prepared to deprioritise to deliver it." Same problem. The first asks for something for your team. The second helps the leadership team make a decision.

The way I describe the shift is looking up and out. Up at what's happening above you in the business, and out across the organisation and into the market. When what you say is anchored only in your current role and your immediate priorities, it keeps you small. When it connects to the longer-range priorities, the commercial reality and what's going on elsewhere, people start to see you differently.

Are you communicating for you, or for your audience?

This is the habit of communicating the same way with everyone. The same message and the same level of detail, whoever is in front of you. Most of us default to communicating the way we'd like to receive information ourselves. It's well intentioned, but it doesn't always land.

I see this most with presentations. When I give people feedback on a presentation, the comment I make more than any other is that it isn't tailored enough to the person it's meant to influence. It's been built from the presenter's perspective: what they know, what matters to them and the level of detail they work in. So my question is always, what are you trying to get from this person? A decision? Buy-in? Reassurance that things are on track? Whatever it is, the whole thing needs building from their side of the table.

The same question helps with the awkward question in a meeting, or the colleague who seems to be going round the houses. What's going on for this person that's making them respond this way? The more you get into the habit of asking it, the easier it becomes to pitch what you say at the right level.

How do you start communicating like a senior leader?

Once you know which habit is tripping you up, the fixes are pretty practical. These are the three that do most to build executive communication skills without asking you to become someone you're not.

Ask for specific feedback

People often avoid this because they're worried it'll confirm their worst fears. A broad "how am I doing?" tends to get a broad answer, so give people something concrete to respond to. Share the four habits and ask whether they recognise any of them in you. Ask whether you come across differently in different situations, quieter in some and more talkative in others. You'll get far more useful answers, and you won't walk away feeling you need to change your whole personality.

Prepare

In your head, your point always sounds great. Out loud, the thoughts can come out fragmented. Taking a few minutes beforehand to work out the point you want to make, and how to say it succinctly, makes a bigger difference than most people expect. Even when your diary is back to back, a short pause to ask "who am I talking to, and what do they need from me?" is time well spent.

Lead with the bottom line

The simplest structure I know is BLUF, or bottom line up front, which started life in military communication. Start with your conclusion or recommendation, then explain why, then add detail only to the degree the other person needs it.

So instead of "I've looked at the different options and spoken to the team, and there are a few things I think we need to consider before we decide", try "My recommendation is option B. It costs more upfront but it reduces the delivery risk, and here's why."

It works for emails, updates, meetings and presentations, and it does a lot to correct both the over-talking and the under-talking tendency.

The level you're operating at is already there. These habits are about making it easier for other people to see it.

If you've had the "not quite ready" feedback, or you're frustrated that your message isn't landing the way you want it to, I can help. One-to-one coaching gives you the time to work out which of these habits is getting in your way and what to do about it in your real situations. You can book a virtual cuppa to talk through your options.