Whether you’re looking to work with a coach for the first time, or you’ve got the opportunity to work with a new coach then the investment needs to be worthwhile. If you’re funding coaching for yourself there’s the financial cost to consider. If the organisation you work for is providing coaching to support you, there’s an investment of time and energy. Either way, you want to know that you’ll get the most value in return.
Knowing what to expect from coaching is one thing, but knowing how to make the most of the opportunity is another. So here’s my roundup of the top 5 things you can do to make the most of your coaching experience.
Prefer to listen? Here's our podcast episode on the topic
Choose the Right Coach
Picking the right coach is like choosing a personal trainer. You want someone who will push you out of your comfort zone, but in a way that feels supportive rather than overwhelming. The sessions might sometimes be challenging, but the growth and results make it all worthwhile
So look for someone you can be yourself with. A coach who creates a space where you can talk openly without fear of judgement. Who calls you out on any BS or excuses but in a way that you completely trust is for your gain and with absolute belief in your ability to achieve more than you believe in for yourself. Being able to let your guard down is where the magic happens.
Consider what style of coaching you're after. Are you looking for a “pure” coach who'll ask thought-provoking questions and help you find your own answers? Or do you want more of a mentoring approach from someone who might offer guidance and advice as well as coaching? There's no right or wrong answer, but matching your needs with their approach is crucial.
If your organisation is providing the coaching, you might not get a completely free choice. But often, you'll have options. Don't be shy about asking for a chemistry session or two before committing. It's worth taking the time to find the right fit.
Be a Great Coachee - Mindset & Preparation
Getting the most out of coaching is often less about what your coach does and more about how you show up. Coaching isn’t a silver bullet and it relies on you being at your best as a coachee as well as your coach being well matched and at their best. A lot of that comes from the mindset you adopt and the preparation you do outside of coaching sessions.
Get as clear as you can about what you want to achieve. Give some thought to your goals from working with a coach and be as specific as possible. Do you want a promotion? To feel calmer and more confident in specific situations? To establish better boundaries?
Your coach will be able to help you clarify, frame and work towards goals but giving some thought to this beforehand will give you a head start into doing the work to make progress more quickly. I normally send some reflection questions to clients before a first coaching session so they can start their brain whirring.
Develop a pre-session preparation ritual before each coaching session. This might sound a bit woo-woo, but it makes a difference. Whether it's a quick meditation, reviewing your notes from the last session, or simply finding a quiet space to gather your thoughts, a little preparation goes a long way. It's about getting your head in the game and letting your brain know you’re moving from ‘doing’ mode to ‘thinking’ mode.
Create a "coaching journal". This is your personal record of insights, progress, and lightbulb moments. Keeping everything in one place helps you see patterns and track your growth over time. Plus, it's a great resource to look back on when you need a boost of motivation.
Reflect before each session. Your coach might offer prompts or suggestions, but don't rely solely on these. Take some time to think about what would be most helpful for you to discuss. What's been on your mind since the last session? What challenges are you facing? What wins have you had?
Let go of self-judgement when you reflect (and during coaching). Notice progress, but also acknowledge sticking points and challenges without beating yourself up. If there are things you haven’t done, or that haven’t gone the way you hoped, ask yourself what got in the way?
By doing these things, you're preparing for a coaching session but you're also setting yourself up for breakthroughs by creating the mental space for insights to emerge and for change to happen. So don't skimp on the prep work - it's where a lot of the magic happens.
Co-Create and Build the Coaching Relationship
A successful coaching relationship is a partnership, and like any good partnership, it needs clear communication and mutual understanding. If you’ve not worked with a coach before it can be easy to be passive and look for them to guide you. But you’ll get far more from being an active participant and making sure the relationship works for you as well as for the coach.
Good coaching relationships start with (and regularly return to) clear “contracting”. It might sound a bit formal, but it's really about making sure you're both on the same page about how you'll work together. Your coach will include this and take the lead in being explicit as part of the process, but don't be afraid to ask questions or be explicit about your own expectations.
Key things to cover include confidentiality (what will and won't be shared outside of your sessions), the frequency and length of sessions, and how you'll handle contact between sessions. Having this clarity from the start helps build psychological safety which is key for coaching work. One of the most helpful things in working with an external rather than internal coach is knowing that you can be completely honest without impacting internal relationships so confidentiality is often the vital element here.
Take responsibility for speaking up in your sessions. Your coach isn't a mind reader, so it's up to you to let them know what's going on for you. If you're feeling mentally or emotionally overwhelmed, say so. If you don't understand a question, ask for clarification. If you're not up for a challenge on a particular day, it's okay to say that too.
Be willing to be yourself. Coaching is most effective when you bring your whole self to the process. That means being open, showing emotion, and investing with both your heart and your head. It might feel vulnerable at times, but your coach is there to support you, not judge you.
Be transparent about what works for you. Different approaches might be helpful at different times. Maybe one day you want more of a sounding board to talk through what’s in your head, another day you're ready for some tough questions to give a different perspective. Tell your coach what you need - they'll appreciate your honesty and it'll help them tailor their approach to best support you. It’s not rude to ask for something different, it’s a smart way to make the most of the investment in coaching.
By actively participating in shaping how you work together, you're much more likely to create a coaching experience that truly meets your needs and helps you achieve your goals.
Great, the edited version provides a more comprehensive and nuanced explanation of how to co-create and build the coaching relationship. Let's move on to the fourth point:
Commit Fully & Engage with Coaching
This goes back to the ethos of getting more out when you put more in. In practical terms there are some simple steps:
Make sessions a priority. It's easy to postpone or cancel when work gets busy, but that's often when you need coaching the most. Treat your coaching sessions as non-negotiable appointments with yourself. The time for reflection and strategic thinking that coaching provides is invaluable, all the more so when you're under pressure or feeling swamped.
Choose the right environment. Whether you're meeting in person or virtually, be somewhere you can talk openly without fear of interruption or distraction. This might mean booking a meeting room, finding a quiet café, or ensuring you have a private space at home. The key is to create an environment where you can focus fully on the coaching conversation.
Be willing to be uncomfortable. The clients who have the greatest insights and make the most progress do not stay in their comfort zone. The topics you naturally want to avoid are often the ones that need the most attention. Sometimes this relates to the topics you might bring to a coaching session (if a topic makes you wince when you think of spending an hour being coached in it then it’s likely to be a good one to choose).
Sometimes it’s about being willing to express yourself more fully and let the emotions come up within a coaching session. We’re used to tears and tantrums so don’t feel you have to have the ‘cool, calm and collected’ mask on.
By the same token, take responsibility for yourself and for what feels OK. Sometimes expressing emotion is helpful to process it and find solutions on the other side. But if you’re going beyond the challenge zone to meltdown mode, it’s fine to shift to a less emotive topic or take a breather
Balance context with core issues. While it's important to provide enough background for your coach to understand the situation, be wary of spending too much time on storytelling about updates or situations you want to be coached on. The aim of coaching isn't to seek validation for the action you’ve taken or the way you feel, but to gain new perspectives and move forward.
Pre session reflection can really help you get closer to the nub of what the situation or challenge really is. Your coach can’t change other people or situations but they can help you find the most helpful route forward from where you are.
Action Beats Insights
It’s great when you get new insights from working with your coach. But the real value of coaching comes from the actions you take, and in particular the ones you might otherwise not have taken. Here are some ways to make it easier to commit to action:
Capture your thoughts immediately. Straight after each session, take a few minutes to jot down your key takeaways and any actions you want to take. The insights you have during a session can fade quickly if you don't capture them, so make this a habit. And write with a pen rather than type your notes - you can type them up afterwards if you prefer to store things electronically for future reference but handwriting involves greater brain processing and results in greater recall
Identify one quick win. Look for one thing you can put into action straight away. It doesn't have to be big - in fact it can help to start with small changes that can create momentum. If it's something that needs scheduling, put it in your diary.
Create accountability. Share your commitments with someone else - your boss, a trusted colleague, or your coach. Knowing that someone else is aware of your intentions can add external accountability to your internal drive to take action. And the more you respect / value that person’s opinion on whether you keep that commitment, the more likely it will motivate you to do it.
Seek feedback. As you start implementing changes, actively ask for input from people around you: colleagues, your team, your boss. Whoever should be noticing the changes you’re making. This helps you gauge your progress and it also makes others aware of the efforts you're making. It also happens to feel pretty uncomfortable asking for feedback because it can feel like inviting judgement or critique. Which brings me to…..
Be prepared to do things imperfectly. The more senior my clients are in their current role, the more they often hate the process of change. Why? Because they are used to being successful and doing things ‘right’ and their identity hangs off being well thought of by others. Change is messy and uncomfortable and while I hate to be the one to break it to you, you’ve got to be willing to do things badly in order to be able to do them well.
Or as one of my clients wisely put it in a more positive frame, "I don't have to do it brilliantly, just enthusiastically." Give yourself permission to try new approaches, even if they feel a bit uncomfortable at first.
Document your journey. Use your coaching journal to record your successes, challenges, and learnings. This creates a valuable record of your growth and can be a great source of motivation when you look back on how far you've come.
Share your growth. Consider ways to pass on your insights and learnings to your team or mentees. Thinking about how to articulate your own learning to others helps solidify it for you, but also amplifies the impact of your coaching across your organisation by way of a ripple effect.
Coaching isn't just about having great conversations - it's about creating change. When you commit to taking action after each session, you're ensuring that your coaching investment translates into tangible results in your work and life, regardless of who’s fitting the bill.
Looking for coaching for yourself or others within your organisation? Book a call to find out more about how I can help.
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